It’s been over a year that I am blogging now and I am still experimenting. It seems like I still haven’t found my path. I stop and I start over again. I am proud of my photographs and then I am embarrassed of them.
I feel trapped but the pressure to publish often and I am pressured to always publish well. I need more freedom and in the same time I need more structure. I have learned and tried many things along the way and I am still constantly reinventing and re-identifying myself. When creating I always long for the stable ground, however once I reach it, I get bored and overly ambitious.
That’s what happened in the beginning of this year. I did arrive to the point where I felt rather satisfied with the level of my photography but in the same time my expectations rose. Looking from perspective I know this was a time when I produced some of my best work for now but I could not appreciate it at the time. To the point that I criticized myself for every not fully sharp photo in a batch of thousand from the photos. I forgot how to tell a story.
There were so many thoughts that I wanted to share but I didn’t know in what form I wanted to publish them. I wanted to share which so many visual stories which I felt shouldn’t require a commentary.
The previous form of this blog put all the photography in the spotlight. That made sense. I didn’t know how to blog but I knew how to photograph. It’s the photos that I wanted to share. But that also put a lot of pressure on me to deliver highest quality photos very frequently. Even if I didn’t feel like it or if they didn’t turn out the way I expected. I kept publishing posts which I was disappointed with.
It may seem that I have been idle throughout June and July. That couldn’t be far from the truth. I have been working my ass off shooting stories for submissions and negotiating, shooting and retouching for my first client. I finally feel like my network has slowly started growing enough to be able to find people to collaborate on projects I have in mind. I can be more focused and intentional in my photography and I want to concentrate on quality not quantity. Therefore, I made a decision to separate my Internet content into two separate categories.
I managed to build a little portfolio of strong photographs in fashion and portraiture, which I am planning to slowly and steadily update with thouroughly thought through photography.
In the meantime, I would like to revert this blog back to more traditional form, which does not put that much pressure to publish photos only of outstanding quality. This would be a more casual and spontaneous space for me to share inspiration, talk about creative struggles and share stories. As always photography will be at the centre of the blog but in many more diverse forms aside from my work.
Oh! And comments will be enabled again from now on:)